Hi All,
The goal of this post for me, is not to be political at all, but simply to write my feelings about today, a year after what happened at the Capitol.
I am writing this partly as a catharsis and wondering if anyone else has similar feelings …
The sense of sadness that I feel for a country which is no longer my home and which I no longer recognize, is what I am trying to articulate. This feeling is due to divisiveness and values which I don’t espouse …and a place that has changed dramatically over the years…and I am not sure if I ever felt at home there actually. I can’t explain the strong sense of sadness and loss that I feel when I recall seeing the events of a year ago today in the news. I literally felt that my heart was being shattered and that the country or the vestige of the country that I thought I knew was changing forever.
These feelings are tempered by my happiness and sense of fulfillment that comes from life here and the family and relationships I have here… I feel like I am living my best life and it’s a type of relief to not feel like you have to keep up with the Joneses. I feel like my heart has a split sceeen due to feelings for both countries, however what is coming more and more into laser sharp focus is my life here, and my years in Massachusetts are fast receding in to memory …
Therefore , for me , what comprises my past is my life there, and it’s definitely not my future …Does anyone else feel similar emotions or tugs at the heartstrings sometimes ? It’s weird because I consider Argentina my home now, as it has been for two and a half years, and I am happily engrossed in all aspects of life here, but I feel almost a sense of guilt that what is happening at any given moment in the U.S. feels alien and completely separated from my current existence…. …
Sorry for the length and for the meandering; I just felt like expressing myself and was wondering if I am the only one who feels these emotions ..
I am feeling more and more detached from life there as time passes, as it feels neither like a relief to have these feelings, nor unnatural to feel this way …
What I know is that it feels totally natural for me to be here and to feel ensconced in this new home…
I feel like I was always meant to be here… but somehow I feel twinges of guilt that I don’t feel more linked to my birthplace.,,,
The goal of this post for me, is not to be political at all, but simply to write my feelings about today, a year after what happened at the Capitol.
I am writing this partly as a catharsis and wondering if anyone else has similar feelings …
The sense of sadness that I feel for a country which is no longer my home and which I no longer recognize, is what I am trying to articulate. This feeling is due to divisiveness and values which I don’t espouse …and a place that has changed dramatically over the years…and I am not sure if I ever felt at home there actually. I can’t explain the strong sense of sadness and loss that I feel when I recall seeing the events of a year ago today in the news. I literally felt that my heart was being shattered and that the country or the vestige of the country that I thought I knew was changing forever.
These feelings are tempered by my happiness and sense of fulfillment that comes from life here and the family and relationships I have here… I feel like I am living my best life and it’s a type of relief to not feel like you have to keep up with the Joneses. I feel like my heart has a split sceeen due to feelings for both countries, however what is coming more and more into laser sharp focus is my life here, and my years in Massachusetts are fast receding in to memory …
Therefore , for me , what comprises my past is my life there, and it’s definitely not my future …Does anyone else feel similar emotions or tugs at the heartstrings sometimes ? It’s weird because I consider Argentina my home now, as it has been for two and a half years, and I am happily engrossed in all aspects of life here, but I feel almost a sense of guilt that what is happening at any given moment in the U.S. feels alien and completely separated from my current existence…. …
Sorry for the length and for the meandering; I just felt like expressing myself and was wondering if I am the only one who feels these emotions ..
I am feeling more and more detached from life there as time passes, as it feels neither like a relief to have these feelings, nor unnatural to feel this way …
What I know is that it feels totally natural for me to be here and to feel ensconced in this new home…
I feel like I was always meant to be here… but somehow I feel twinges of guilt that I don’t feel more linked to my birthplace.,,,